Switching up my pitch email opener made a huge difference for me

Idk, I used to start all my client pitch emails with this long intro about my background and services. Maybe it's just me, but I noticed people would stop reading after the first few lines. So I tried flipping it around, putting the client's problem right at the top instead. Like, I'd begin with 'Struggling with X?' based on what I knew about them. I kept the rest of the template short, just three bullet points on how I could help, and ended with a simple question to get the chat going. After doing this for a couple of months, I got way more initial replies and even landed a few projects from it. I mean, it sounds small, but that change really shifted things for my business. Has anyone else played around with how they structure the first part of their pitches? I'm curious what opening lines you all use.

3 comments

3 Comments

lucas_wood2d ago

Totally get that, starting with their pain point is key. I’ve pushed it even further by name dropping something specific, like “saw your recent post about Y” or “noticed your site struggles with Z.” Makes it feel less like a blast and way more personal. That little detail shows you actually did your homework and aren’t just copying a template. It takes a minute longer but my reply rate shot up when I started doing that too.

lily4172d ago

Last quarter, my team sent out 2000 personalized LinkedIn messages. But the reply rate barely moved compared to our basic templates. Spending minutes on each profile just doesn't work when you have a big list. Sometimes, pointing out their pain points can come off as rude or invasive, like you're judging their work. I've had people block me for referencing their posts too closely, lol. So I'd argue that genuine but broad outreach is safer and faster.

patel.brian2d ago

Seriously, digging too deep just weirds people out. It feels like stalking instead of helping. So keep it light and save your time.