The handshake rule I made up that got me real referrals

I was spinning my wheels at like 4 meetups a month in Buckhead and getting nothing but business cards that went straight to the trash. Then I realized I was treating every conversation like a sales pitch instead of just listening for what people actually needed. So I made this dumb rule for myself - I wouldn't hand out my own card until they asked for it twice. First time I'd just nod and keep talking. The second time I'd finally pull it out. Sounds ridiculous but that little filter forced me to actually connect with maybe 5 or 6 people deep instead of trying to hit 30 shallow ones. One of those connections turned into a $2k contract with an IT firm in Alpharetta three months later. Has anyone else tried something weird like a personal rule that changed your networking game?

3 comments

3 Comments

mason.drew3d ago

That thing about not handing out your card until they ask twice is pretty smart. It reminds me of this rule I came up with at a conference in Macon where I stopped trying to sell my HVAC services and just asked people what their biggest headache was. Some guy mentioned his server room was always overheating and I ended up giving him a tip about portable AC units. He didn't hire me but he sent two of his buddies my way because I didn't push my card on him. I think the key is making people feel like you're genuinely interested in their problem, not just looking for a check. Your approach forces that kind of real talk instead of the usual business card shuffle.

sagejackson3d ago

That Macon story is a great example but I think you might be giving your own rule a little too much credit. People usually remember how you made them feel because they're wired that way, not because of some sales tactic. The guy sent his buddies your way because you actually helped him, not because of the two-ask rule.

wadejenkins3d ago

I read some study once that said people remember more about how you made them feel than what you actually said... so your rule about making them ask twice probably works because it builds that little bit of tension and genuine curiosity. My buddy in real estate told me he does something similar where he literally keeps his cards in his back pocket so he has to physically turn around to get them, forces him to slow down the conversation. That wait makes people feel like you're not just another sales robot running through a script. Your 5 or 6 deep connections probably ended up being worth more than thirty shallow ones anyway because people can smell desperation from a mile away.