My mentor insisted on a 5-line pitch email, and I fought it for years

Back when I started freelancing, my old mentor (a guy named Mark who ran a small agency in Portland) drilled into me that a pitch email should never be longer than five lines total. I thought that was crazy, like how could you explain a complex service in five lines? For almost two years, I ignored him and wrote these long, detailed emails thinking it showed I cared. My reply rate was maybe one out of every fifteen. Finally, out of pure frustration, I tried Mark's way on a batch of ten pitches to local businesses. I kept it stupid simple: who I am, what I do, one result I got for someone like them, and a clear ask. I got four replies back in 48 hours. It felt like magic, but it was just good, old-fashioned advice I was too stubborn to hear. Has anyone else had a simple rule like that completely flip their results?

3 comments

3 Comments

sam_cooper23d ago

Ever read that book about how our brains just shut down when we see a wall of text? Your story proves it.

joseph_green1323d ago

Yeah, that's not really how it works, sam_cooper. The brain doesn't just "shut down." It's more about bad formatting making things hard to process. A wall of text is tough because it gives your eyes nowhere to rest. Breaking it into paragraphs is a basic fix, it's not about some magic brain off switch. You just made the reading work way harder than it needed to be.

emma_jones23d agoMost Upvoted

Yeah exactly, that "brain shuts down" thing sounds like pseudoscience. My buddy tried to read a 500 word rant from his boss with no breaks and he just gave up halfway through, started laughing cause he literally couldn't track what was being said. A few paragraph breaks and suddenly the same info is easy to follow.