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Shoutout to the client who replied 'I don't understand what you're selling'
I was sending out my standard pitch email for my grooming shop, full of details about my 'comprehensive canine wellness process' and 'specialized coat management.' A potential client in Austin wrote back with just that one line. It hit me that my whole template was using fancy words to sound professional, but it was just confusing people. I rewrote it in plain English, saying 'I wash, dry, and style your dog,' and my reply rate doubled in two weeks. Has anyone else had to kill their jargon after a blunt client call-out?
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skyler_kelly692d ago
That "I don't understand what you're selling" line is the best feedback you can get. I used to write long product descriptions for my side hustle, and people just glazed over. I cut it all down to "I fix old lawnmowers" and suddenly my phone started ringing. @paulnguyen has the right idea with the burger. People just want to know what they're getting without the fancy wrapper.
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samreed1d ago
Seriously, it's like we're trained to overcomplicate things. I used to list every single feature of my handmade candles, and sales were dead. Changed it to "Soy candles that smell like a campfire" and they actually started moving.
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